Of Rancid Acid, superhit shit and much more!

When you call nature it may or may not give what you want. ya ya ya Jordan says O ecofriendly nature ke rakshak mai bhi hu nature in a shrilly voice merely asking to protect him! Previously there used to be so many trees and greenery around that I used to feel that nature is just a call/ a shout away and when nature calls you you can even hide behind it safely and it never will mind. Infact the output of the nature call can be used by it as manure , but with increasing suburbs, cosmos, metros, flyovers etc etc what you see every where are skyscrappers, big complexes, multiplexes with plush tiles, shining mirror like floor and roof and clean toilets. Yep crystal clean unless until theres a humongous crowd or if the whole housekeeping staff is on sick leave.[Theres every possibility to take leave once in a while taken in to account the stench they bear. I salute them]. So by now you must have got an idea what am gonna scribble here. Actually the topic itself is so crappy (shitty) and bothering me from many days that I cant resist loading the crap on my blog[inspired by subtitles in starmovies where they use crap when the actor says shit; -)]

You buy a ticket worth 200/ in multiplex and so you expect every thing to be luxurious and clean with some lavender or rose scented aroma around the toilets. You never complain and girls actually spend hours in the rest room as we all know adjusting  their hair , reapplying the make up etc etc. They dont mind even standing in queues and complain that water flow is less or the bolt is not working etc. Enough disclosure of this luxurious life. Lets take a reality check now!

Have any of you visited Indian public toilet , any time ? During that long road journey or when you are out side on a crowded road and have the urge to release, other wise your bladder may blast or your anus may get sealed or you may just do it in your clothes. Yes every one in life would have been in such a dirty “Oh god please let me hold for half hr more ” kind of embarassing situation! right ?

Unfortunately I also have been in such situations once or twice. Do not sigh thinking that am writing this being a girl. Being a girl its a more horrendous experience  (for obvious reasons) when ever I visit a public toilet .(Everyone has to face the natures wrath/ curse  once in a while. After all am also in the group of humans who polluted her)It takes me atleast 1/2 day to control the puke and 2days to forget the aghast experience! One such experience recently happened friends in our own Rajdhani “Dilli”. Now I realised the meaning of “The Delhi Belly” . The toilets are 10x dirty than those I saw in small towns , bus stops of villages or even the railway stations of hyderabad etc
The above image is of a very clean toilet compared to many!!I wont and cant upload the “Much real” images!

They say Delhi has the best metro service. Delhi prides on having one of the best airports in the world but can Delhi proudly say “It has the cleanest public toilets in the country?” or for that matter can any place in India announce this with out slightest hesitation ? A BIG NO! 
They proudly write it all in bold that
Urinals:  1/-
L***** : 2/- 

It gets much more crappier when you find no water around you. Thats when you wish some Tsunami strikes or a flood comes and washes away all the sins and shit !If its a over crowded  remote tourist place its understandable. But its DELHI- the capital city and that  particular area was devoid of vehicles / crowds . A less crowded  newly constructed metro station. I thought atleast it would be clean as it is new but I was proven wrong as I entered inside and used my dupatta and hanky and what not to cover my flaring nostrils. There were so many tons of shit around that if it can be used as construction material you can use it to  build NAGARJUNA SAGAR DAM!!God answered my prayers when I found an empty mug with water and a lavatory with less shit in it. You cant just ignore these observations. Can you? but you can definitely act as if you just entered a garden full of blooming roses. [ok yellow roses 😦 ] so as to save your self from the mental trauma. Don’t make your minds eye so firm coz there are chances of going bonkers and plucking a rose . My bad ,even the nearest MC D (at Chandni chowk)had  no bath room and there was no Hotel near by and I had to enter the yellow blooming garden as I felt I may soon have to be admitted in hospital if I resist more but  I felt my admission is gonna happen  for sure when I entered. The funniest thing is I saw the collectors taking 4-5 rs/ – from a person who took it little long ! If those meager 1 rs or 2rs are not sufficient to maintain the toilets, why cant they charge some 10 to 20/- and maintain it ? I think our corrupted leaders can spare some amount from their pockets for the  maintenance of public toilets. Come on man!! Please don’t save money even in the matters of shit . Soon the country will be so full of shit that every one has to buy a private jet like Ambani and fly from A to B.

I really dont understand why India is in such a shitty state specially in the matters of shit. Firstly you can see shit loaded on roads by humans along with a dog’s , pig’s and donkeys. Some people just don’t mind to release it no matter what. It can be a famous hill station , can be Shimla or even Kashmir! Its a challenging task in India to protect historical monuments , waterfalls , at times even shrines. You name it you will get shit where ever you want. I mean how many kilos does one eat per day that he can bring so much out ? Not to mention the variety of commercial products you can see around ranging from baby diaper to you know what. The best solution is every one wearing a diaper which will totally avoid a public toilet visit!
Many are even below the poverty line in our country right ? I guess the amount of shit is not directly proportional to food intake ? or may be some do it once in 3 days ! Dont say “Argh” . No wonder friends. Statistics say that nearly 635 million people dont have access to toilets in India . Half of  the population of India have cell phones in India but no toilets as told by HINDU-  http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/article2992061.ece

There are horrible videos which show human is just another animal ! Such people must be severely punished the way “Aparichitudu” (Aparichit – Vikram) does . Its not about poverty or illiteracy. Its about minimum civic sense. Its about the border line which separates us from pigs/ dogs. Now the people who literally do it on high ways are either drunk or mentally disabled is a open question and altogether a different 
issue! Check the video below where people urinate anywhere and every where!

I seriously pity the scavengers here!!! There are many horrible videos and images which am not uploading here
When ever I enter a hotel or we book a room during travelling or even I enter a cineplex I check the rest room first and feel glad that its clean. Only then we decide to eat/stay in that hotel. But sometimes I am in a situation like above and I come out and just try thinking of any thing just any thing other than that but the horror just attacks my mind. Trust me . I was not able to have dinner after that (the specific Delhi experience). I wanted to fight / shout at the person who is collecting money. I asked him loud, does any one clean the toilets at all? He said , Ya once in a day we do and was giving a silly smile. Many sitting around him seemed like goons. I didn’t want to talk to those mud heads !

Not sure when this problem will come to an end. I really appreciate the  condition of some toilets in small towns where I saw women continously cleaning and there was a perennial supply of water through taps!! GOD BLESS THEM. Am ready to even give a 50/ – to them, next time I spot them.

Now coming to some facts and statistics

1.) As U read above more than 600 million people have no access to toilets in India. I thought Slum dog millionare hyped the situation but I guess its all true!

2.) Some statistics even scare saying its better to avoid criminal attacks like below, so dont use public toilets – http://www.rediff.com/news/slide-show/slide-show-1-to-minimise-chances-of-rape-dont-use-public-toilets/20120424.htm. click on <<Read more>> below to continue reading

3.)There are only 714 public toilets in Chennai, the capital of Tamil Nadu and many more capitals dont have capital for toilet maintenance- Proof is the  disastrous condition in Delhi

4.)Sulabh Sauchalay which charge money are clean at some places and free ones are horrible 

5.) Rather than me spilling out facts you yourself go through some discussion thread I randomly found on net – http://www.indiamike.com/india/health-and-well-being-in-india-f2/public-toilet-t2770/

6.) Every one knows the toilet facilities during the Common Wealth games in Delhi

These are enough facts from my side as I dont feel like digging much more in to facts!

Some desires

1.    You all know Aamir Khan is hosting Satyamev Jayate. I wish this issue is highlighted and govt is pressurized to allot the needed amount for their maintenance.

2.    I wish that another new mall which will spring to life in no time is halted and the money used for it is allotted for maintenance of public toilets. Dont we have enough malls and maala maal people going  inside. Lets think about common-man who has no access to malls or internet cafe.

3.    I wish less sims and more phenyl bottles and soaps , toilet cleaning material are sold.

4.    I wish people who shit on the highways and clean roads are punished. Dont you  think its a punishable crime? If no severe punishment atleast they should be asked to clean their own shit and the part of the road they dirtied.

5.    I wish people become more civic. Shit is one thing and as you know many think other than the 4 walls of their home rest of the world is Garbage bin.

6.    My friend told some where in US there is a fantastic rule that if you have a dog as pet and it shits in an apartment compound, You should clean it! After all a lovable pet is like your own kid and if a kid’s shit is not adored by you then how can it be by others!? No such rule in India. I hope such rules are implemented for dogs and also humans here!

A funny  or may be not so funny solution I feel  which can be implemented to avoid all this mayhem and epidemic of shit is 

1.) Urine should be collected at random collection points  which can be converted to fuel. It has been proved right if am not wrong that urine can be used as fuel ?

2.) Mobile toilet seats at affordable prices should be designed which you can carry with you . You should be able to urinate or shit in it and they all should be placed in a common place from where they can be sent to municipality and disposed off.
(well its not such a bright idea though :P)

Thats all for now friends!! 

“Hope in coming years entering a public toilet will not lead to epilepsy.
 Hope being humans every one learns the much needed decency!
Hope in coming decades we wont face problems of shit.
Hope we all can then shout in glee “This is it”!!”

11 thoughts on “Of Rancid Acid, superhit shit and much more!

  1. Well written and yes its pity to see such a condition in our country who boasts to be a developing country.. I never thought that it will be this bad in the capital!! I hope even non-profit organizations come up with some plan to construct and most importantly maintain public toilets in India..

    On a side note, I see you participate in lot of competitions, thought you might wanna try this: http://she.msn.astroyogi.com/she-writes/ (dono if you've seen this before.. anyways only two days left for the deadline 😛 )

  2. Hey Vishnu : Long time since U bumped in to my blog haan 🙂 Thanks fr acknowledgin the post :}
    it was quite stinky wen i wrote it 😦 😛 Ya MONEY is not a prob here . IT needs a serious reaction and revolution and people who dont behave like animals

    Thanks for that info yar. will check that out. Lots on my head so not sure on participating!

  3. The thing is people are insensitive to other people. We, Indians (mostly) have this motto : “It's all about me, baaki sa bhaad mein jaye” mentality. Even educated people don't leave the washrooms the way they should be after using them, leave alone uneducated folks. There's no point hoping anything from the government when people themselves are so full of “it” ..this kind of problem involves a lot of civic sense, a bit of common sense and most of all being sensitive to others around. 🙂

    Kudos for trying to take on such a topic.Good job!!

  4. @Nandana : Ya people shud remember that toilets are constructed for them to demarcate them frm animals and that they shud be maintained cleanly! Coming to public toilets, they r rarely clean!!dont understand hw this can be resolved!

    Thanks for ur comment as always

  5. Well, I have seen people in my office leaving toilets dirty after use. It's just in our blood to live in filth. And the same people will wrinkle their nose when they encounter a dirty toilet.
    We live in a country where men and dogs piss together on walls and trees. Women..well, we anyways do not care about them.

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