Relatives Vs Friends & F(r)iends

Featured by as Spicy Saturday Pick!

Relatives Vs F(r)iends Vs Friends
What will you do when someone close to you suddenly stops talking to you or behaves weird?
Why is it important to have at least one trust worthy Friend all your life?

Disclaimer: The characters in this episode / Conversation snippet are fictional. Resembling any one alive or dead is quite possible as this cannot happen on a alien Land 🙂 Dont mind the 60’s names given to chatacters- Kamala and Vimala 

Read on!
This is what I presently feel. Image courtesy : google

Kamala saw Vimala and her friends in a shopping mall and calls her excitedly and starts talking.  

Kamala: “Hey Good to see you yar! Had to inform you this. We are planning to go to Spain .I got an offer in my current project.”

Vimala (Cousin): Oh wow! (Trying hard to suppress the anguish but it comes out glowing in the eyes even if she is grinning) .That’s great. When is it?

Kamala : “In a month or so! I will let you know once everything is decided.”

Vimala: “Ok! Cool. Hey We have to go to Gold shop before they close. I will call you OK? Congrats by the way.”

Raji (friend) mailed her: Amazing! When? With whom? I Wish I could also come. Let’s see in future. Send the pics once you start clicking them 🙂
(She feels little jealous but it vanishes in a while. After all Raji and Kamy are friends from 10years)

Priya (Friend on FB but actually a Fiend) comments on Kamala’s FB status “Hola! Spain it is with” 40 + Likes and 20comments : OH U R damn lucky ! Enjoying life Han!!

Kamy is busy with her travel arrangements and feeling dreamy all the while so she doesn’t care who is saying what! She just informed all in the typical FB way as later they will again complain and behave weird specially Vimala and the cousin bros and sisters gang who will become judge- “mental” and mark Kamy’s behavioural traits as proud , rude and selfish just by the fact she didn’t inform her  travel plans to cousins/ aunts/ uncles and the rest from the same band(g)wagon! Even if the so called relatives stay indifferent when it comes to informing their personal issues / plans / decisions they expect any other fruit popped out of a different branch in their family tree to show respect to all and inform each and every (T)aunt their happenings in life. If you don’t you will be discussed like below in the (T)aunt talks

Aunt A: “Oh that Kamy! She is so proud of her career that she forgot to even tell that she is leaving India.”

My question is, why shouldn’t  she be proud of her achievements and career and why the hell she has to inform Aunt A with out any fail when Aunt A or her off springs don’t  do the same!

Aunt B: “Really! Ya my daughter told she updated her status on FB. It has become style statement these days. You got to be on FB if you want to stay informed and connected.”

Aunt A: “It’s not an IRCTC enquiry to log in and know. Am least bothered now. I am thinking to invite Kamy for Vimala’s wedding only after the Mehndi and other rituals.”

B stays silent as she doesn’t want to cool down the fire. If she wants she can persuade A but she is actually enjoying the only spice element in her life. The crusade between Kamy and A is known to all from long!

Kamy is a successful IT consultant who recently got married and got an amazing opportunity to travel to Spain and work there for 1year. Husband is in good position too. Whilst her success was successful in pleasing only handful of folks it failed in pleasing a good number of people among relatives and so called friends circle.
3 weeks after her status update of Spain somewhere in Chennai Raji opened her contacts in mobile and did not delay calling Kamy and congratulating her.
Raji: “Hey Kamy! Congrats Madam. If I was in Hyderabad I would have taken a treat at Oberoi  or Taj Krishna ”

Kamy: “Oh come on darling! Such  a huge treat for a short time opportunity.”

Raji: “So what if its short term! It’s an honour to go there. Zindagi Na milegi Dobaara Yaar!  You are among very few people to go. Anyway do visit the Bull fighting and Tomatino festival and also get goodies for us. I heard silk shawls and leather products are great there  ;)”

Kamy : “wowowow ! A list already. Sure yaar! Thanks a lot. I didn’t get time to call all, but you took the pain to call me.”

Raji: “Come on now! Don’t be melodramatic. If I was in your place I would also have got busy. I understand you.”

Kamy :” Hmm!! I wish Vimala also understands me some times.”

Raji: “Now whats the issue with her? Leave her na yaar!”

Kamy : “She was not like this Raji. Competition between us is invalid. We have grown up and are busy in our own lives but I don’t know who plants these seeds of jealousy in her brain. You know what, all my cousins are invited except me to Vimala’s wedding. She didn’t even inform about it. I am not sure if I will be invited. The other day I called aunty to tell about my Spain trip. She quipped saying Aunt B told her. I never specially informed Aunt B. I don’t know what’s all this mess the relatives create.”

Raji: “Leave it na Yaar! Go if they invite or else leave it. It’s not your mistake right? They don’t deserve your thoughts. They are just jealous! You can never repair their polluted minds so just ditch them.”

Kamy :” If you say so, but it definitely feels awkward when I go to any wedding or function and I have to face them. It definitely hurts without any mistake from my side.”

Raji : “There are many such people Kamy! Just see my cousin Lalitha. She is still angry with me by the fact that I took lead in another cousin Suresh’s wedding. Now what can I do yaar. I am in to event management so they obviously took my help!”

Kamy : “Hmm. Dont know what can be done about such occurrences. Either we should behave dumb and disinterested in such events or we should totally go in to hibernation.”

Raji: “No need of doing anything like that. NO NEED TO SACRIFICE YOUR SHARE OF FUN due to some fools.”

Kamy : “hmm! Thanks Yaar. I always feel light when I talk to you. I wish you were my cousin.:)”

Raji: “Nah nah! Please. If I was your cousin I may have got more jealous than Vimala by your spain trip, your beauty , your husband and what not :P. So this suits me better.”

Kamy : “ My God. Stop mocking me and do you think you can really be like that?”

Raji : “Who knows re? It’s always good to be not blood related and stay friendly.”

Kamy: “hmm! May be. Ok , I gotta go. Some meeting. I only have a week left for travel, so finishing many things.”

Raji: “YA! GOOD LUCK TO U and do think of great time ahead. Don’t populate your brain with dump.”

Kamy : “ji hazoor. Chal bye.” 

Raji : “Adios!”

Kamy : “hahhaha. Adios amigo!”

Kamy was sent an email invitation after a month. A week later Kamy called Vimala to wish her on the D- Day. Aunty took the phone and gave a crisp reply:  “She is busy.”
Kamy : “ Oh ! Can you please tell me when she will be free aunty? “
Aunt A: “Not sure beta. I will convey my wishes to her and ask her to call you when she is free.”
Kamala cut the phone letting out a sigh. Kamala’s parents couldn’t participate happily in all the wedding events due to the way Kamala was treated by A. As Kamala’s mom was not active another distant aunt C took the lead which surprised the audience and the band(g)wagon of the groom’s side! The ambience was unpleasant which was noticeable to all!
Somehow the wedding finished leading to fresh silly quarrels, fights , complaints and verbal arguments among relatives and you  can say in a way Kamy was fortunate enough to miss all the mess and happily enjoy the Tomatino ! Vimala never called Kamala. Time flew and Vimala gave birth to twins. They both are in touch on FB giving importance to their egos and remembering to never call each other. Priya continued pasting her weird comments on FB and liking Kamy’s pics . Kamy even forgot how she met Priya but just restricted her as she was not sure deleting would be a good idea! Raji is still in touch and they both discuss what’s happening and not happening in life. Kamy is coming back to India and it was Raji who was there at airport along with Kamy’s mom dad and bro to receive her. Kamy’s friends met her and they all had excited conversations over many cups of coffee and tons of Hyderabadi chicken biryani. Kamy is all stuffed and happy but the lacuna of her relatives staying indifferent haunts her!
This is just a speck in the bountiful jealousies, quarrels, misunderstandings, mishaps relatives and some friends have between them. The thing which troubles me is how do people get so jealous at your events / success / intelligence / earnings and every possible thing? It’s good to yearn for something and use it as a stepping stone for progress but the never ending comparative analysis? What about it? Isn’t this a never ending pain in Ass! The so called family relations and the people who aid in the fights. Kamy is fairer than Vimala. Kamy is smart. Vam! The cold war has started even before Kamy and Vamy can even recollect when it all started! These people who act like “brawl-aids” piss me off. I can fall down to their levels and make the messier affair much dirtier to take revenge but I just can’t make it happen! And wedding is all together a Bollywood movie may be the Karan Johar kind , very long and with many unwanted twists!

  • ·        One person has complaints that he/she is ill treated in a wedding just because they were not asked twice to have dinner.
  • ·        The other has a complaint that he was not given the lead role he being the eldest.
  • ·        One more has a complaint that she was not invited properly so she didn’t attend.
  • ·        One has issue with some cuisine and says it spoiled the wedding aura!
  • ·        One cousin has an issue that the girl on her D- Day didn’t give her the role of bride’s maid.

In all this hullabaloo people who just have special appearances get the lead role!
If wedding is a movie it’s never a box office hit in India. It always gets mixed views, reviews and revenues!
PHEW! Wedding is such a costly but not so pleasing event in India.
As time runs you get more complaints and witness more jealousies than appraisals in post wedding days!
But there are few GOD sent angels / cousins called “FRIENDS” who always have no complaints and no regrets. They are always glad to be a part of your most important day of life, raise a toast for you and raise your spirits. Of course not all f(r)iends stay happy. I have seen people whose faces fall down when a bride’s beauty is praised. There are many categories in jealousy!
So when someone suddenly stops talking to you and starts behaving weird making the scene awkward for you just walk off or ignore!
I still am not sure if I can do it taken the long-time relations I have with many but I can definitely say keep happy people around as grouches pull you down and I prefer to keep friends and relatives who don’t have complex feelings around me. It’s very tough as none is simple. Even I am complex in a way! People say I think a lot and make them think 😉
I only wish to control my emotions and not feel bad when someone is wicked / indifferent / unhappy with anything good happening to me!

I definitely can’t please everyone and I have stopped trying to do so long back. The below image which was circulated fervently on Fb few days back suits me!

courtesy : Someecards. I love their cards:)


TBC some other time when I feel grumpy again. So hopefully I dont want to get grumpy and continue this. Thanks a lot for bearing this post
As of now I feel like I am attaining inner peace which I can never attain like  below;)

Have a great weekend


Keh ke lena…..Y I HATE JOURNALISM??

Teri keh ke loonga- Not sure how many of U watched the latest Wasseypur saaga. If U watched the bell would have rang while reading the title it self !! “KEH KE LOONGA” has become a cult long ago and no need to mention every one loved the song and started humming on a daily basis when ever they are frustrated , to take revenge on boss , to show their hatred on some one , to show angst through their write ups etc but the reason I named this article as keh ke lena is not to discuss wasseypur again (have done a lot of it)! KEH KE LOONGA is my favorite song too and I want to dedicate this to most of the journalists in our country who feel very proud about this task “Keh ke lena”. As you are here you may want to read this post written some 2years back about“Indian media – misusing freedom?” .The situation didn’t get better in these 2years. It actually worsened . With the intervention of too much of online media in our lives be it facebook , blogs , twitter and tumblr etc everyone wants to voice their thoughts , share some news or report an incident.  

Funniest are FB posts where a grave accident in US which killed 5 Indian students is discussed as importantly as Aradhya bachan’s revelation. Everyone wants to talk one thing or the other. It’s definitely good to discuss, share opinions and voice your thoughts or fight for your rights if needed but here am going to discuss what happens when it becomes “excess” and when every other crap occurrence is entitled as “NEWS” or “REPORT”!

You all must be aware of the Guawahati molestation case. Am sure many of us would have forgotten  those criminals’ names and none would be knowing the actual law and punishment in India in such case but almost all would know how to search on you tube. WAIT! Why to search?!If you open You tube it might show up in most viewed or featured videos as well! 8 out of  10 Indians who have access to Internet would definitely have watched this video sighing and pitying : “Ah Poor girl! This shouldn’t have happened?”
MEDIA covered it very well. The way those animals held her, tore her clothes, her replies etc. When someone shared it I couldn’t go beyond 30 sec. It all seemed like a plot. Who is actual MEDIA? Who took the video? Who stopped the act is all in haze. I was disturbed for a week or so and then forgot about the news like many. I heard 4-5 people were arrested. Yep media say they have done a great job but one from the same media was also arrested for encouraging the criminals in their heinous act! I was glad at least few were arrested (GOD KNOWS IF AT ALL THEY ARE REALLY PUNISHED). Even after the arrests I don’t feel like thanking the MEDIA as I HATE THE MEDIA’s style of reporting, passing the information to people. Is it necessary to repeat and re-repeat the news and the clippings of the crime?  I never understood the TRPS but Media is ever ready to make people feel uncomfortable or sick!

When YSR (A.P.’s X CM- Y.S. Rajasekhar Reddy) expired in that tragic helicopter accident the news which was AP’s sensation 2 years back a news channel which sighted the copter remnants displayed the news in BIG BOLD letters BREAKING NEWS. We were speechless , sorrowful but at the same time I was feeling funny as the reporter continuously shouted PLEASE NOTE THAT IT is our channel ** TV which reported this incident first. I was not even sure if he mentioned that the CM of A.P. died!! It was outrageous and hilarious at the same time. Such is the craving of news channels and journalists (most of them) to earn brownies! You all must be aware of Peepli Live and Rann Movies.

Media concentrated a lot on Aish’s weight than Saina winning Bronze medal. There is a eve teasing, a rape or murder or women bullied in NCR or some other committed suicide you can see media hovering around the crime scene like dementors (it is harry potter Lingo) with their Jet black Cameras and microphones! It’s very difficult for them to report without sucking the life out of you! Once I saw some mishaps in Ashram where people are actually drugged to make them feel “spiritual” and then the swamy does his cheap tactics and acts with disciples specially women. I don’t remember which swamy and when it happened but I remember that I felt like puking and switched off the TV like always as the program was covered for more than 1 hour. One thing I don’t understand about reporters is they report the happenings but what after that? Do all follow up to see if there is a progress due to their efforts? Do all cross check if justice has been granted?  That swamy still takes spiritual lessons and I keep seeing his hoardings and ads. 

 I guess most of the media have their  best interests in just showing what all they want to and then move on to another grave news or Ram charan’s  or Genelia’s wedding or a made up weather report . To me all three kind of news seem to be handled with same intensity and seriousness by many news channels.

The purpose of writing this article is some blog I recently read where I got rude responses from the author who claims he is a journalist! Am sure Barkha dutt or Karan Thapar or the man who is barred recently Aseem  Rastogi (for his cartoons [A wicked act but a sensible one which reflects Indian politicians and corruption]) or many other International journalists  would be more polite than him while replying! I myself have interacted with many magazine editors and international reporters. There is a journalist from Gulf who writes serious journals and addresses issues and reports them. He replies to me patiently me being just another reader! Every other naive or experienced journalist or reporter should learn first how to talk without losing their cool when a reader expresses concern or needs a clarification. You cant just escape by saying. Am a reporter so I report. Face it! Am not sure if they have this session in their journalism classes!

Firstly the report (as he says that he is a reporter and he would report no matter what) he made on his website was about some fake religious website where a person (obviously you can imagine the sanity or ignorance levels of the person on the other side of the box) will chat with you and help you in getting converted to a particular religion! The name of the religion was written in CAPS in his title which itself is a bit provoking and places the reader if he is from the same religion in DISCOMFORT zone! The post is given a PS: Not to hurt anyone and NOM and not to be serious etc etc. Any post which has this is bound to hurt someone or the other!  COME ON WE R BLOGGING almost since valmiki shouted Maramaramara. The chat conversations were pasted where the person in hoodwink who wants to get converted asks all his doubts to the other one blaming “Your religion is no good right?? (Am not writing the exact snippets as I don’t feel like) I heard this and this about it .”

What will anyone expect the other person will reply?!  He will obviously say, “NOPE! We are good, holy . That’s all a hoax!”

What irritated me more were not the website authorities’ most expected replies but the way the person who is investigating the website asked the questions. Any sane person would know that website is a big joke and ignore it but he being a journalist wanted to investigate it, know its authenticity and report to people. Even if I think on a bigger picture am not sure if he is doing any good to mankind due to this mocking- report! To me it showed the hidden intentions to showcase the bad and there’s no sign of him asking anything about religion itself!  He first of all dug from excavations some site which nobody knew even existed and then highlighted it with the chat convo he had using some temporary ID and pasted all the replies!

Anybody who say they r neutral will definitely be from similar kind of journalism or a person who knows the journalist or someone who is not very sensitive and doesn’t bother enough or a person who thinks real broad and appreciates the effort and the heroic act. Even I felt irritable when I saw such fake website exists firstly but god knows how many more such websites exist taken the infinite religions in to count. There are even people who are claiming after that post in some argument that “In so and so religion I never saw such site!” Did he/she go through ALL the websites of that religion? I don’t think it is humanly possible to do that and how exactly did that report help people?

My only concern is when there is already so much havoc in the world due to religious rivalry and so many other important issues is there something good achieved by notifying this website to people ??Ya Ya people got alert / surprised and shocked but this could have been done in a better way too but as a matter of fact the reporter claims it was neither mockery nor foolery just a clean report! Leave good or bad, is this post even necessary in present day scenario! Well I don’t see any use due to this report.  The only result is few laughs and mocks from the fellas and friends and pats by colleagues as if it is a “BRAVO” act! To me it was an unnecessary provoking act. So was to many others.

Some diplomatic people say it was just unleashing the fact and being a reporter if the purpose is only to report whatever big or small the sector of people is getting offended then I HATE SUCH JOURNALISM! I hate the holier than thou journalists who think writing and then giving adamant replies and apologising in public will resolve everything. There is nothing “heroic” about all this to me!

So friends I want to conclude this article by wishing and hoping abundant sanity exists in the world. If there is insanity then reporting the insanity in such a way that sane people’s brains get blocked is more insane and I guess whenever a person is writing or reporting something with regards to religion  and then gets rude on hearing peoples perspectives should be ready to taste sour grapes!

PS: I respect all religions and hence am not digging in to the mess they create or the fake-ness and fairness of any religion and harness my knowledge coz am least bothered about all such reports! Am only bothered about silly reports getting projected in a sillier useless way!

If Keh- Ke – lena is the motto of many journalists am glad am not in to this profession which long long ago used to be a dreamy profession to me!